A Sky for Us Alone Read online

  “If he hadn’t stolen everyone’s lunches in first grade, he would’ve made more friends.”

  Jacob laughed. “Oh my God, I forgot about that.”

  “Hey.” I wondered if I should speak my question or keep it to myself. “You heard about the new girl yet?”

  “Hell yeah, everyone’s talking about her. Boyd said he saw her chasing her little brother around. Said she has an ass like a peach and the rest of her is even hotter. What’d you hear?”

  “Did he talk to her? What about him and Ellie? I thought they had gotten all serious by now.” Even though I knew everyone would be after Tennessee, it already drove me crazy to think about Boyd or anyone else talking about her that way. I sat up straighter in my seat and leaned closer to the wheel, my shoulders tight across my back.

  “I don’t think Boyd’s serious about anything but his dick. Why does it matter, anyway?”

  We were getting closer to Ryan’s. “She’s different,” I said. “She’s not like Victoria or Clarice or any of the rest of them.”

  “Watch it,” Jacob said, and finished the last of his beer. “You’re talking about the mother of my child.” It was weird how he’d get defensive over Clarice when most of the time he was complaining about her. “Of course you’d fall for the new girl,” he said.

  “I won’t be the only one, and that’s what worries me. Just keep those idiots away from her, okay?”

  “Hey. I always got your back, you know that,” Jacob said. “It’s just been crazy lately with the baby and all. I got my hands full, but I know you need me more now that Nate’s— Listen, we should go see my uncle in Lexington soon, so you can meet him. And we can get back to working on that cherry table with your new saw.”

  “That sounds good,” I said. “It’d be nice to get out of here for a while. Get back to thinking about what’s up ahead.” I pulled up to Ryan’s brick house.

  “Sure you don’t want to come in? He said the pinball’s up and running again.”

  “I’ll see it tomorrow night.”

  “All right.” Jacob hopped out and leaned down where I could see him. “Lexington,” he said, and pointed at me. “Next week, maybe. Just need to clear the baby schedule.”

  “You got it,” I said, even though I didn’t have the money for a road trip and I figured he didn’t either, but maybe his uncle would float us, or I could borrow some cash from Mama now that she had the money from Nathaniel’s check. Maybe even Tennessee could somehow come along.

  When I got near home, Daddy’s truck was parked in our driveway. I carried the bag of food from Mama Draughn inside, and found the two of them sitting at the kitchen table, talking serious over something.

  Daddy looked up when I came through the door. “Where you been?”

  “You know, kids aren’t supposed to spend summers indoors,” Mama said.

  “He’s not a kid anymore.”

  “Mama Draughn sent a few things,” I said. “And she’ll come see you sometime next week, she wanted me to tell you.”

  “She’s such a saint,” Mama said. I saw her roll her eyes a little. “Wish I had a quarter teaspoon of the stuff she has that makes her that way.”

  “I think she just loves taking care of people,” I said.

  “Whatever it is, I’m sure neither of you would mind if I could cook like she does.”

  “We’re fine the way things are,” Daddy said. “I’m already fat enough, don’t need any more on me.”

  “Mr. Draughn’s pretty skinny. Guess it’s all those vegetables they eat,” I said.

  “Expensive to eat that way. I don’t know how they afford it. Social security don’t buy health food, and the mine retirement sure as hell don’t.”

  “I suppose they figure it’s worth the cost.”

  “Food is food,” Daddy said. “It all comes out the same way in the end. I’ve got to get back. New foreman’s tightened things up, trying to make a good impression.”

  “What’s he like?” I asked, anxious to get his take on Tennessee’s daddy.

  “It don’t matter what I think of him. Time will tell if he’ll last. Takes a long time to learn Amos’s ways. How to choose the right battles. We’ll see if Moore can manage that.”

  “Are you trying to say that Nate should have just stayed out of his way and kept his mouth shut?”

  “I wasn’t aiming to, but I sure wish he had.”

  “Have you talked to the sheriff again?” Mama asked.

  “I told you I’ll get to it,” Daddy said.

  “I don’t think you will,” I said before thinking. “You just said people shouldn’t upset Amos. I know you don’t want to risk your job for it.”

  Daddy brought his hand against the table and the slap echoed through the kitchen. “Don’t put words in my mouth and don’t talk about things that you don’t understand, boy. When you’re paying the bills for everyone, then you can speak. Not until then. You’ll find out soon enough that all you can do in life is choose the best way to take care of yourself and your own. Simple as that.”

  “Speaking of,” Mama said, rubbing her forehead and then around her eyes, “you got the grocery money?”

  Daddy looked at her and laughed, once, before saying, “You’ve got plenty. Did you really think I wouldn’t know that you cashed Nathaniel’s check? Both of you are so goddamn thick-headed right now.”

  “This is my trailer, and my land,” Mama said. “You better keep doing what’s right by us. If you won’t—”

  “Then, what? Harlowe will? You know as good as me that the only way he’ll ever do that now is if he gets in right with Amos, and he needs me for that. Especially after everything with Nathaniel. I’d be careful with that money, Sarah. And careful of what you say to me.”

  “Both of you stop,” I said. “It’s only been two days. You think he’d want this?” I stood and left them to fight each other if they had any energy left for it. They’d drained all of mine.

  In my room, I took the big box Nate left in the corner for me on my birthday and finally opened it. I’d never seen a saw shine like that one did. No dust on it yet, the engine sparkling. Every piece, big and small, had a purpose. I’d dreamed of holding it in my hands and there it was, bittersweet. Nate was right, it was heavy, but not the way he’d meant it. He’d added an expectation I only hoped I could meet. I set it down and took my phone out of my jeans pocket, snapping a pic to send to Jacob. We needed to see his uncle Lexington, and even more than that, get our asses back to work.

  I put my phone back in my pocket and then walked over to the other side of the desk where Nate’s was still charging. His notebook was on the desk, and I flipped it open, scanning the dates and places he’d written, looking for any numbers that jumped out. Since they were only months and days, most of them were three digits instead of four. But there was one that stood out to me: 12/25, Strickland. Nate had never missed a Christmas with us, and it was the only date that was at home. I punched the numbers into the phone. The screen shook and said “failed attempt.” I popped my knuckles and looked down at a piece of mail Mama had left for me a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t opened it because it was from Arizona State University, one of those stock letters they sent out to everyone. I wasn’t going to apply anywhere—I didn’t have the grades or the money to go to college. “Harlowe Compton, 1613 Kinley Road,” the label read. It was worth a shot. With my thumb, I typed the numbers of our address into Nate’s phone. My stomach flipped when it opened. With a deep breath, I wondered how Nate would feel about me digging into his business. But if things had happened the other way around, I was sure he wouldn’t stop searching until he’d set things right.

  Chapter 11

  I SCANNED THE LIST of names on Nate’s screen. Mine was there, so were Mama’s and Daddy’s, and a handful of other people I recognized, along with a few I didn’t. At the very top was Tommy’s. I clicked on his name right away. He had sent the last text to Nate, and it said 2:30, at the office. I read the date, 7/21—my birthday, right aro
und when I noticed Nate had left the party. My heart beat faster, and my mouth went dry. I scrolled all the way back, looking for anything else that pointed to that day or any other trouble between them, but there were only a few earlier texts about standard job stuff like when the reports were due. At least I had proof now that Tommy wanted to meet Nate the day he died. If I couldn’t get the sheriff to pay attention to that, I’d have to find someone else who would.

  Since I had already gone that far, I figured I might as well read all of Nate’s texts, especially if I was going to offer his phone up as evidence. I guess I could have done without seeing the naked photos Missy Higgins sent him, even though she looked really good in them, but I was more glad he’d skipped returning the favor to her. Anyway, I went ahead and erased the thread from her. It seemed like the right thing to do. I made my way through the rest of his messages without finding anything shocking. The last name was Jacob’s, and there was only one text. It was from Nate to him and it said Remember, Woodvale Friday. The message itself was weird, but so was the fact that there was only one. I knew they had sent other texts about the saw, or times we’d all met up together. My pulse quickened again. I put Nate’s phone down on the desk and picked up his notebook. Flipping to the last page of his writing, I read “7/19, Woodvale.” The pages shook in my hand. Nate must have erased their other texts, as easily as I had Missy’s nudes. I needed Jacob to tell me what it all meant.

  Looking at my own phone, I saw that he still hadn’t texted me back after I sent him the picture of the saw. I snapped photos of Nate’s notebook pages, and also the text to Jacob on his screen, figuring an extra record of both wouldn’t hurt. Then I bit the inside of my mouth and sent a text to Jacob that said Need to talk, from Nate’s phone.

  Chapter 12

  I TURNED THE WATER in the shower as cold as it would go, thinking if I froze myself under it, the heat wouldn’t feel so bad when I got out. But as soon as I toweled off, I started sweating again. It was ten thirty in the morning. Jacob still hadn’t texted me back from the night before—on either phone.

  I looked in the mirror and combed my hair, thinking I should have buzzed it a few weeks ago because it was starting to curl, but I didn’t want to do it right before Ryan’s party that night. Jacob would be there, and I’d make sure he couldn’t avoid me then.

  I thought I’d find Mama in the kitchen, but when she wasn’t there, I knocked on her closed bedroom door to tell her about the text from Tommy. A rustling sound came through the door, and I knocked again.

  “What is it?” she said, sounding half-asleep.

  I didn’t want to shout through a closed door, so I turned the knob and opened it. She was still in bed and pulled herself up, then blinked at me. When she reached for her cigarettes, she knocked the full ashtray all over the floor.

  “God damn it,” she said, and rushed out from under the sheet to clean it up. She crouched on the floor in only a too-small tank top and underwear. I turned away, embarrassed to see her like that.

  “Did you take another one last night?” I asked, and wished Nate could tell me how he’d dealt with the pills the last time. I remember her sleepy and stumbling after the surgery. Nate found her out cold one morning, and after the medic came to revive her with Narcan, she finally agreed to stop. That was when he sent me over to Mama Draughn’s for a few weeks so I wouldn’t have to see the worst of it.

  “That’s none of your business,” she said. “I don’t have to answer to you, or anyone else, for that matter.”

  “Does Daddy know about it?” I asked.

  “There’s nothing for him to know.” I heard her dump the ashtray into the trash can by her bed, and then get back under the sheet again. “I appreciate your concern, sweetie, but,” she yawned, “I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”

  I turned around to face her again. “Have you talked to the doctor? Did he give them to you?” I asked, even though I knew it didn’t matter where they came from. Legal or not, pills did the same thing once inside a person.

  “Go put on some coffee for me and I’ll make us breakfast” was her only answer. I changed my mind on telling her about the texts. She wasn’t in a state to hear about Tommy or Nate. It would probably only make her worse.

  By the time she made it out to the kitchen, the coffeepot was full, and I’d already scrambled some eggs because I was hungry and tired of waiting on her. She squinted and closed the curtains I’d opened to let in the light.

  We spent most of the day in front of the TV. I wished the hours would go faster so I could get out the door to the party. Mama loved watching Wheel of Fortune and dozed on and off between cigarettes and during commercial breaks. A woman jumped up and down, squealing at her good luck. I wondered what she would do with the twenty-five hundred dollars if she didn’t lose it before she had to go back home. Maybe she’d sat with her mama at night watching the show like I was then, just hoping to find some way out.

  “Mind grabbing some beers?” Mama asked. She’d never allowed me to drink in the house before, but I wasn’t going to remind her of that.

  While I was at the fridge, one of the phones in my pockets vibrated. Tennessee’s name on my screen shot through my veins like the strongest shine.

  Chapter 13

  Does the invitation stand? her text said.

  Yes. Want me to pick you up?

  Let’s meet at your place.

  Great. 1613 Kinley Road. Anytime.

  I stared at my phone for a couple of minutes, the fridge still open, waiting to see if she’d say anything else. The heat of our trailer stuck against my back but there was a nice chill on my arms from the fridge and her text. I grabbed the beer and went back to the couch.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve seen that smile,” Mama said, looking up at me when I handed her the can. “What’d I miss?”

  “That foreman Daddy was talking about? His daughter’s coming by here and going over to Ryan’s with me tonight.”

  “Right now? I should get dressed, then. The place is a bad mess,” she said, and set the recliner down.

  “It’s fine, she won’t stay long. And she knows what’s happened. She understands.”

  Mama didn’t hear the last of what I said because she was already in her room. I heard the water running in the bathroom. I was glad she finally had a reason to get up and get moving. Maybe she wouldn’t need the pills if she had something every day to look forward to. I nursed the beer and my surprise that Tennessee was on her way. It wasn’t long before I heard a knock at the door.

  Tennessee’s light blue dress grabbed my attention and her smile put me at ease. “I wasn’t lying,” she said. “It really was a fluke that I got away.”

  “Come in,” I said. “You look great. Is it okay for me to say that? You look great.” I could feel myself blushing. “I said that already. Damn.”

  “Thanks.” She laughed and followed me inside.

  “Do you want a beer?”

  “No thanks, I’ll wait. Our neighbor, Mrs. Hemlock, has been asking if she could watch Omie sometime. Daddy’s out of town for a meeting, and I remembered the party, so—”

  “Yeah, I’m really glad you did. It should be a lot of fun, especially now that you’re coming.” I’d just have to find some time to talk with Jacob alone, but that shouldn’t be too hard.

  “Thanks,” she said. “Trust me, I’m excited to get out for a night.”

  Mama came into the kitchen with damp curls pinned on top of her head, wearing clean clothes and a little too much makeup. “Oh gosh, you’re already here. I was hoping I could straighten up. It’s not always this messy.” She offered her hand to Tennessee. “Just call me Sarah. The ‘ma’am’ and ‘Mrs.’ stuff gets to me sometimes. Doesn’t seem I should be that old. I don’t know how it happens so fast.” She smiled. “Aren’t you lovely?”

  “Oh, thank you. I love that lipstick you’re wearing,” Tennessee said, noticing her effort.

  Mama touched the back of her neck and looked
pleased. “Harlowe, why don’t you get that Tupperware Betsy put the sweets in and meet us at the table where we can talk a little?”

  They chatted while I grabbed the brownies and cookies and poured two glasses of Kool-Aid for Tennessee and me.

  “Wow, it’s so very blue,” Tennessee said when I set one in front of her.

  “You don’t like it?”

  “I do sometimes, I guess; I was just thinking about going to the party with a mouth full of blue teeth,” she laughed.

  “Right. We don’t want Smurf teeth. I’ll get some water for us.” I took the blue glasses to the sink.

  Mama made use of every second I was gone to ask Tennessee about her family, and where she was from. I tensed when I heard Tennessee talking about her mom dying, and hoped she didn’t feel like she had to explain anything she didn’t want to.

  “I’m so sorry,” Mama said. “You’ve got a lot on your shoulders looking after a little brother so young.”

  “Not any more than you’re carrying. I heard someone say once that losing a child is the worst grief a person can know, and I’m sure that’s the truth,” Tennessee said.

  Mama nodded and looked down at the table until she touched her cheek and looked at the tears on her fingertips like she was surprised to find them there. “I’m sorry. They come without warning.” She reached for a napkin. “Anyway, it’s real nice to meet you. Looking at the two of you sitting here reminds me of when I was young. I forgot how exciting summer nights used to feel. Like something magic could happen any minute.”

  “And did it?” asked Tennessee.

  “Sometimes,” Mama said. “Enough to always keep me hoping for more.”

  Her face seemed a little lighter than it was before Tennessee came, even with her tears. I imagined what she must have been like at our age, or even younger, before she met Daddy. I’d seen pictures of her then, but this was the first time I saw traces of the girl she used to be.